Saturday, November 23, 2019

Nothing He Couldn't Do!

With Thanksgiving less than a week away, how about a series of posts creepily themed to the culinary delights of the doomed? Cuz everyone likes to eat right? Right??!! Say, what's your favorite things to eat, anyway? Hmmmm, turkey? Taters? Pumpkin pie? Hey, how about canned meat? Oh god, I've said too much already... better pop down a couple of Zantacs because here comes a deliriously dumbfounding Dick Ayers atrocity that is sure to upset your shivering stomachs. From the September 1954 issue of The Thing #16.


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--Mr. Karswell


Brian Barnes said...

I thought for sure, as silly as it would be, he might have made them a refrigerator, but, nope, it was canning, which isn't as easy as it sounds!

This one is a bit looney tunes and I always like to think "what thought started this story?" Had to be canning for cannibals, and then the author worked backwards.

I really like the art but a bit of a pet peeve .... stories with lots of water can have some messy pages, all black/blue panels and sometimes hard to draw the eye. It's a minor complaint.

I feel bad for Jones, he didn't deserve his fate but boy did they stack the cards against the others! Escaped convict! Crooked gambler! And a hitman! Yikes! What a surprising rouges gallery that ends up on one raft!

Is Jones alive but buried in the ground? Or just a head? That part was a bit confusing.

I liked this one. Fun crazy tale with silly ending, makes for a nice read.

Todd said...

"We still have time to figure out how to escape!"

I love not knowing how many pages are left. The abruptness was a surprise!

Mestiere said...
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Mr. Karswell said...

Looks like to me that he’s buried up to his neck in the dirt

Mestiere said...
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BTX said...

I'm thinking "Made It Myself" Jonsey would have been the Cannibal since that would have been his punchline. I figured he rounded up the baddies for his meal.... then the REAL cannibals show up. Badly plotted, but nice swerve.

Mr. Karswell said...

Um, the blood could also be coming from say, a giant spike driven through his face, haha... also, can severed heads change the direction their eyes are looking? I don't know, I read this and didn't for a second think the head was severed, plus the line of dialog from the cannibal seemed to secure it. You guys are kooky :)

Mestiere said...
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JMR777 said...

Jones should have said to Mike that repairing guns was one of the few things he couldn't do, gunsmithing requiring specialized knowledge that he didn't have.

Jones also should have made a deal with the chief, his precious toolbox, tools and all of his knowledge in exchange for their lives. Giving the tools and knowhow to the chief would have made the chief even more powerful and respected, something most men seek.

Instead of canning meat Jones could have taught them how to make jerkey, a much easier method of preserving meat.

I second what Brian Barnes said, Jonsey didn't deserve his fate, but in the realm of horror comics the good guys sometimes pay the penalty along with the bad guys.

Mr. Karswell said...

LOL. Yes yes, everyone knows about the lingering, brief life phenomenon of the just severed head (Hell, I wrote a story about it myself in 8th grade English class back in the 80's), my point being that you don't even have to look very close at the final panel of this story to see that the head isn't severed-- Ayers even drew in a bit of the shoulder! Plus, as mentioned before, everyone is talking to the head on the ground!

And while we're at it, Ayers also drew blood on the cheek in the same panel. Googling Indian and Thai magic tricks won't alter my own past experiences with shaving and nicking my cheeks for the last 40+ years, because yes, cheeks definitely do bleed-- like a MFer! I'm siding with Ayers on this one.

Whew. Okay, fun debates aside, there's lots more murderous morsels on the way, this was just an appetizer in THOIA's week-long Thankskilling Feast! Stay tombed... *burp!*

Mestiere said...
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moonraqs said...

How about a new way to spice up your egg breakfast? Canned people! I was leaning towards refrigeration as well.

Guy Callaway said...

The 'Jonesy, what happened?' panel showed up in a '50's 'those horrible comics' mag article.
Great yarn!

Mr. Cavin said...

Golly Ayers is great. The energy on page one is palpable. I quite like the weird mole-man (?) cover for this ish, too.

Bill the Butcher said...

You're right about the spam - I've almost stopped checking my pending comments because it's so hard to find the real comments among the spam.

How nice, the cannibals who can speak English! But not manage grammatical English! Because they're cannibals!