Return from the Grave!

"I'm coming... coming to wreak my revenge... to drink in your marrow for these rotted bones... to triumph in my... RETURN FROM THE GRAVE!

From the November 1952 issue of Tomb of Terror #6







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Vintage Magic Ad

Death Flower

The Purple Claw heads into the swamp for more thrills, chills, and tenta-kills, and into what might amount to his weirdest case yet! Only one more Purple C Saturday story still to go this month too!

From the May 1953 issue of The Purple Claw #3

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And the THOIA Lyric Challenge Contest Winners are:

1st Place: Emby Quinn (Uncle Lancifer’s pick)
Emby gets the Afterschool Special (’76-’77) DVD set, a Kindertrauma shirt, a THOIA shirt, and choice of any photo* from Dania Hurley’s All Eyes And Ears blog.

2nd Place: Tim Tylor (Aunt John’s pick)Tim gets a THOIA shirt and choice of any photo from Dania Hurley’s All Eyes And Ears blog.

3rd Place: Todd (Karswell’s Pick)Surprise! I really thought Todd put in a kick ass run of lyrics too so I’m adding one more "honorable mention" THOIA shirt prize to the list.

(*Photo Winners: please contact Dania HERE for your prize details, and everyone visit her blog to check out her truly fantastic photos! And thanks again Dania for donating the great snaps!)

Congratulations again to the winners and another super big set of devil horns to our great guest judges this week, Kindertrauma’s Uncle Lancifer and Aunt John! Be sure to visit Kindertrauma for a repeat scarring of all those lil traumatizing childhood fears you always knew you could never forget.

Winner’s, please email me your mailing address and tee-shirt sizes so I can get your prizes to you pronto: karswell@hotmail.com

Thanks again to everyone that participated, and to those who have already won in the past and keep playing anyway... and of course to anyone who just stopped by anyway as usual and still commented.

There will be another contest next month, (maybe two!) so next time join in the fun!

Chainsaw Maid (VIDEO)

Chainsaw Maid is a creepy, extremely gory, and well-made claymation zombie movie.

Big thanks to Jeff Schultz (Jeffos) for sending me the link.

Gateway to Horror

This is it, the final day for the THOIA Lyric Challenge. And what better way to end it than with a bad ass Basil Wolverton sci-fi horror classic? You have until 6pm to get your submissions in before our judges disappear into their secret chambers to decide your fate. Winners will be announced tomorrow morning. Make it good. Make it count. Or just read a great pre-code story from a true legend.

From the December 1951 issue of Marvel Tales #104

"Beginning of the ending has just begun

You can't speak because you know we've won

On your knees now

The Year is One

Hell and Earth are One..."

Earth Dies Screaming - SOBM

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SILLY BONUS: From Tales Calculated to Drive You Bats #2

Patty McCormack / H. P. Lovecraft

Happy Birthday, Patty McCormack, born this day in 1945 in Brooklyn NY. Most famously and fondly remembered for her ultra-chilling child role as Rhoda Penmark in the murderous kid classic The Bad Seed (’56), she has starred in a variety of top notch genre film and television throughout her truly amazing career.

And for shame, yesterday we completely overlooked the birth of H. P. Lovecraft who turned 118. Thanks to the Quasar Dragon for reminding us.

The Fake!

To make things even more interesting let’s add a casting call to today’s Lyrically Challenged terror tale too, shall we? I’m gonna have to beat Fred to the punch with this one and pick Anne Francis as Agnes Carew, and how about Basil Rathbone as Robbie the… uh… I mean, as Robert.

From the March 1954 issue of Menace #10

"...unwitting chaperons,

How come you cannot see

A Hitler wearing heels

A soft Simon Legree

A Hun with honey skin

De Sade who makes good tea

Dont leave me here to be

Dont leave me here to be

Dont leave me alone with her..."

Don't Leave Me Alone With Her - Sparks

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Inside is Ty!

Here's one of the more bizarre stories I’ve posted in awhile, and the artwork by Seymour Moskowitz is just as outstanding as it is original. And I suppose if the word “challenge” in “Lyrics Challenge” actually means anything then today is the day for everyone to prove what they got. (I’m officially making a new rule today too: Using an awesome Marc Bolan lyric is just too easy, and if you do you will thusly be disqualified.)

From the June 1954 issue of Adventures into Weird Worlds #30

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Giant rampaging skeletal monsters got you down? What about wanton werewolf destruction in your Spanish villa? Possessed nuns and horny hunchbacks won’t leave you alone? Chupercabras steal your chimichanga? It’s time you called on the one expert who knows how to handle all things monstrously MAD. And that’s The Vicar! Yes, you no longer have to fear the unknown cuz brotha he’s already tackled it, Figure Four Leg Locked it, pulled a couple Sleeper Holds on it and even pinned its evil ass flat to the mat. Check him out here in his new THOIA fight frock, just seconds after stomping something that was once thought “unstompable.”

And now, head your own ass over to MAD MAD MAD MAD MOVIES, before a horde of hopping Chinese vampires sink their fangs into you!

I Saw the Vampire!

THOIA Lyric Challenge Day Two. Who delivered the best chops yesterday? And who will bring it on bigger and badder than ever today? You’ve got a classic vampire tale to work with this time around, from the June '54 issue of Adv into Weird Worlds #30

“The bats have left the bell tower

The victims have been bled

Red velvet lines the black box

Bela Lugosi's dead…”
---Bauhaus

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Vintage Vampire Ads

The Case of the Beckoning Mummy

Mummy Mondays meet THOIA LYRIC CHALLENGE CONTEST #2! And our brave guest judges this time around are ::drum roll:: toddler terror experts Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John from Kindertrauma!
Same rules apply as before, merely find appropriate (or inappropriate) song lyrics that match this week's pre-code horror stories. There will be TWO winners* announced Saturday morning, August 23rd, the contest ends Friday night the 22nd; Unk L will pick the first prize winner, and Auntie J will pick the second place. Prizes include THOIA and Kindertrauma shirts, an Afterschool Special (’76-’77) DVD set, spooky real photos from my fabulously talented friend and photographer Dania Hurley (of All Eyes and Ears fame), and hopefully more goodies still to be determined. It’s gonna be a blast so don’t miss out! *Remember: You must enter at least 3 times this week to be eligible to win. And now, on with the story…

From the February 1951 issue of Web of Mystery #1

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Vintage Model Kit Ad