Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Black Candle of Life

Despite the usual daily doses of tall, dark 'n gruesome round here, you know I try to keep things a bit more on the “PG / PG-13” side of things. But today’s epic Fawcett tale about a girl possessed by a black “candle” is just way too obvious to play down. Did editor M. Shull really think we wouldn’t notice the true intentions behind this lustful “candle” tale, with panels like those at the top of pages 5, or 6? Look at the shape of that thing for chrissakes! I seriously can’t wait to read the comments today...

From the Nov ’52 issue of Beware Terror Tales #4












+++++++++++++++++++++++++

And from the “Congratulations! You’ve Just Murdered Your Own Child” Dept:

Parents! Saddle up junior in this sparkling new cowboy costume and send him out to dally with the boys. So cute…

17 comments:

Unknown said...

Candle, schmandle. I like how it took Sima to teach Jeff how to be a man. Although I didn't much care how Jeff and Marjorie made out. They were itching to win a Darwin Award.

Anonymous said...

Lovely artwork,but it's not the most suggestive post of yours,that's okay though,you always post somenthing eventually that DOES break my brain.

Mr. Cavin said...

You know, I’ve seen the whole “beware of releasing the specter of female sexuality” thing already ("Oh Marjorie, will you grow up?"). I’ve seen the “rebirth slash release from the vaginal cave” bit ("This is the most amazing place I’ve ever seen!"). I’ve even seen battery operated candles before ("She’s up again! It must be... THE CANDLE!"). But I don’t think I’ve ever imagined I’d see the awakening of her orgasm presented as the rotting dead. That’s just rude. What, is the Big Bad Wolf out of a job now?

"She’s putting the candle down! It’ll be now or never!"

Poor Jeff. He can’t compete with the monster! But the Little Pink Candle of Life just looked so good in the box, you know?

Anonymous said...

I don't see how you people can find sexual symbolism in Majorie pulling that candle out of a cavern and then putting it back in until the fire is lit.

Anyway, what is with the arrogance of Jeff that he thinks that he may order the villagers to keep their mouths shut? They should have marched him to-and-over the cliff for causing the grief that he had.

Tim Tylor said...

There are the guys who push the big red "Don't Push!" button, and then there are the guys who make their girlfriends push it for them... Come to think of it, this is a perfect example of the "amnesiac-maiden ending" Mr. cavin remarked on yesterday.

Evil candles are made from bat's eggs if The Beyond 12 is to be trusted, so fortunately they're not too common.

Anonymous said...

OMG.

Tenebrous Kate said...

So... if that's all it takes to summon an legion of Blind-Dead-Templar-esque zombies, then I know some girls who should be able to muster up an entire army of the undead. Now if there was only some way to work around that whole "make her one of us" thing, cos that is Decidedly Nott Hott.

And--Jeff, my dear--the fire didn't "come out of nowhere," you've just been Doin' It Wrong.

Frederick said...

Well, we know that candle isn't Jewish.

But it does make me feel a little envious.

Frederick said...

Oh, and I love that cowboy costume ad, which includes a mask "like all cowboys wear."

I wasn't aware that all cowboys wore them... only the kinky ones.

The Vicar of VHS said...

I found the story not quite as suggestive as advertised--although there's certainly the whole FOUL-SMELLING CAVE thing, and the "FINGER OF EVIL aimed for the DARKNESS OF THE CAVE ITSELF," and Marjorie exclaiming "I'll take the candle with me. Somehow...I FIND IT VERY FASCINATING," and later "her body seemed on fire...as if consumed by a terrible fever!" and then the candle described as "THROBBING in Marjorie's hand," and sudden ideas "PENETRATING Jeff's mind!"...

Okay, waitaminnit. Never mind. :)

I have to say, Marjorie doesn't look a quarter Tibetan. And that outfit of hers might raise more than eyebrows in a backward, religiously conservative village! Though it's not quite clear whether she's wearing a microskirt or microskorts...

Anyway, at least now we know how the Blind Dead went blind.

Dane said...

The candle is so much smaller than the cave ... poor Marjorie. :(

Mr. Cavin said...

"The candle is so much smaller than the cave ..."

He replied
I didn't know
I was playing
In a cathedral.
Vicki didn't laugh at all.


Prince! Batman soundtrack. Whattaya mean it's next week?

Mr. Karswell said...

>The candle is so much smaller than the cave

Throwing hot dogs down hallways again, eh? I should do posts like this more often.

Great comments so far... keep 'em (ahem) coming gang. And whoever makes ice tea come out my nose today gets a THOIA shirt.

Patrick said...

"Hey baby... Ya wanna touch my uhmmm.. Black Candle of Life? Yeah, that's it!! Don't play with it too much or ya might get some... uhhh, hot wax on your hand"

Sexual overtones or not, I loved the Evil Ones- reminded me a lot of the cover artwork for "Scream Bloody Gore" from "Death". Too cool!!

Kitty LeClaw said...

And whoever makes ice tea come out my nose today gets a THOIA shirt

Then her Daddy
Jumped on the stage
Talkin' 'bout killin'
In a goddamn rage
I got mad
My "black candle of life" got hard
Entered in her ass
She said, oh my god!
-- Body Count, KKK Bitch

I already have a t-shirt; couldja make it a pair of PJ Bottoms?

Emby Quinn said...

So the smart chick and her hunk from yesterday get to suffer a slow, agonizing death from radiation poisoning, but Braindead Boy and Clueless Girl get to live despite their utter stupidity?

No justice. None.

"Marjorie, will you grow up? Just ignore the circle of coffins and the smell of rotting corpses! Light the candle that's on the table, honey. You know, that BLACK CANDLE OF LIFE that the old woman explicitly told us would resurrect the evil shambling dead?"

Was I the only one who kept hearing Inga from Young Frankenstein?

"Put...de can-dull...BECK!"

...Okay, maybe I was the only one.

Anonymous said...

Karswell is always seeing symbolism that isn't there. That is obviously an ordinary,large, black strap-on candle.